Burned Bridges

Today I took a shot at mending a part of my life that I obliterated in an act of extreme indulgence and selfishness. I would be a dirty liar if I didn't admit that I have a small hope for a reply to my message. I would be naive to expect one. I feel naive to harbor my small hope. I spent a large portion of my life running from my problems. I made the choice to drink rather than to find a healthy way to deal with my emotions. Sure, every kid newly on their own does things they wouldn't do in front of their Mothers...I was no exception. It took me a very long time to learn to be okay with who I am and what I truly believe at my core. That journey has led me to face the flaws within my person with an aim to resolve them, or failing that, to learn to cope with them and navigate my life in a healthier fashion. Sure, I don't always get it right. I don't always make the right or even a good decision, but I stand by any decision I make. I admit that I have erred and work to learn from it. The shot I took today feels like a good decision. Mending burned bridges may be impossible, I can't say right now. Either way, I want whatever ashes remain to spell out that my behavior was shameful. That I put an accelerant to the already fragile tinder is a regret most acutely felt. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone